Tag Archives: cgi-ay-ay

Dora and the Lost City of Gold

“Explorer is her middle name”

Directed by James Bobin (Alice Through the Looking Glass)
Starring Isabela Moner (Transformers: The Last Knight), Eugenio Derbez (The Nutcracker and the Four Realms), Michael Pena (Ant-Man), Eva Longoria, Jeff Wahlberg, Danny Trejo (From Dusk Till Dawn) and Benicio del Toro (The Wolfman)

Ten years after her cousin and childhood BFF Diego (Wahlberg) travels to the city with his family, Dora (Moner) is sent to join him by her mother (Longoria) and father (Pena) when they set out to realise their long search for Parapatta, an Incan city filled with gold.

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Blast from the Past: The Matrix (1999)

  • Free your mind, or
  • In a world of 1s and 0s…are you a zero, or The One? or
  • Be Afraid Of The Future, or
  • The Fight for the Future Begins, or
  • Believe the unbelievable, or
  • Reality is a thing of the past, or
  • What is The Matrix? or
  • Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself, or
  • Perception: Our day-in, day-out world is real. Reality: That world is a hoax, an elaborate deception spun by all-powerful machines of artificial intelligence that control us. Whoa, or
  • The Future isn’t user friendly, or
  • The Matrix has you, or
  • Welcome to the Real World, or
  • Remember there is no spoon, or
  • The Future Will Not Be User Friendly, or
  • The World’s population thinks it’s real. On March 31st, they will see the “Real World”

Oh yeah, this was back in the day when a tagline was considered important, clearly, although they didn’t necessarily do them well. Actually, I suspect that this is in part because The Matrix was different enough from anything that came before it that it was really difficult to market.

Directed by The Wachowskis*
Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano, Gloria Foster and Marcus Chong

Thomas Anderson, aka Neo (Reeves), is an office drone and secret hacker, obsessed with finding out what ‘the Matrix’ is. Meetings with fellow hacker Trinity (Moss) and the sinister Agent Smith (Weaving) lead him to cyberguru Morpheus (Fishburne) and his crew – including Trinity and less-committed hacker Cypher (Pantoliano) – who extract him from the Matrix, a simulated reality, to join their resistance against the world’s AI overlords, who use humans as batteries.

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Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)

“Protect the bloodline” or “Every bloodline must end” which feels like they aren’t sure what the film is about

Directed by Anna Foerster
Starring Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Lara Pulver, Tobias Menzies, Bradley James, Clementine Nicholson and Charles Dance

With the vampire covens on the verge of annihilation in the face of the Lycan onslaught, the remaining vampires suddenly really care about the fact that Selene (Beckinsale) killed the elder Viktor (Bill Nighy) back in the first movie, while the Lycans want the blood of her daughter, Eve, in order to become super-hybrids. Erstwhile ally David (Theo James), brings an offer of amnesty from the Eastern Coven, who want her to train their Death Dealers to be less shit. She accepts, but is betrayed by the elder Semira (Pulver) and her goon Varga (Bradley James) who want to drain her superblood, before being saved by David and his father Thomas (Dance), who sacrifices himself to get the other two away from the coven.

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Pokemon Detective Pikachu (2019)

Directed by Rob Letterman
Starring Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith, Kathryn Newton, Bill Nighy and Ken Watanabe

Sinister AF Pokemon Mewtwo escapes from a lab, and a car is knocked off the road. Tim Goodman (Smith), a small town insurance assessor, learns that his father, Detective Harry Goodman, died in the crash, and comes to Ryme City to collect Harry’s effects from his boss, Lieutenant Yoshida (Watanabe). Here he meets his father’s partner Pikachu (Reynolds), a pokemon who is somehow able to hold complete conversations with Tim, and who ropes him into the search for Harry, convinced that he is still alive.

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Captain Marvel (2018)

Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck
Starring Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Djimon Hounsou, Lee Pace, Lashana Lynch, Gemma Chan, Annette Bening, Clark Gregg and Jude Law

Vers (Larsen) is a wisecracking, amnesiac member of the Kree special forces unit Starforce, serving with CO Yon-Rogg (Law), sniper Minn-Erva (Chan) and heavy Korath (Hounsou) on search and rescue missions for the Supreme Intelligence, an AI that appears to individuals as the person they most admire. When the team falls into an ambush while trying to rescue an undercover agent, Vers is separated from the unit and captured by shapeshifting Skrull commander Talos (Mendelsohn), whose interrogation machine uncovers memories of a scientist named Lawson (Bening) on the planet Earth.

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The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

“They Come in Pieces.”

Directed by Mike Mitchell
Starring Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Tiffany Haddish, Stephanie Beatriz, Charlie Day, Alison Brie, Nick Offerman and Maya Rudolph

Five years after the end of The Lego Movie, the briefly idyllic LEGO settlement of Bricksburg has been devastated by the repeated attacks of aliens from beyond the ‘Stairgate’. Emmett (Pratt), the last optimist in Apocalypseburg, is troubled by dreams of a coming ‘Armamageddon.’ He creates a dream home for himself and his partner, Lucy (Banks), which draws the attention of the aliens with its shininess. General Mayhem (Beatriz) descends on Apocalypseburg, defeating the best efforts of Lucy, Unikitty (Brie), Metalbeard (Offerman), Benny the 1980’s Spaceman (Day) and even Batman (Arnett), and abducts these five to be ‘guests’ at her queen’s ‘matrimonial ceremony’ in the Systar System.

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Bumblebee (2018)

No-one remembers the tagline for The Phantom Menace, right?

“Every Hero Has a Beginning”

Directed by Travis Knight
Starring Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, Jorge Lendeborg, Jr., John Ortiz, Jason Drucker and Pamela Adlon, and the voices of Dylan O’Brien, Angela Bassett, Justin Theroux and Peter Cullen

As the Autobot rebellion flees Cybertron, Optimus Prime (Cullen) sends the scout B-127 (O’Brien) to Earth to prepare it as a haven on which the Autobots can regroup, and to protect it against the Decepticons. This immediately goes to shit, as B-127 crashes into a Sector 7 military exercise, flees from forces led by Colonel Jack Burns (Cena), only for both to be attacked by the Seeker Blitzwing. Burns’ forces are decimated and Blitzwing damages B-127’s voice box and memory before B-127 can kill him.

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The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

“The Legend You Know Has a Dark Side”

Directed by Lasse Hallström and Joe Johnston
Starring Keira Knightley, Mackenzie Foy, Jayden Fowora-Knight, Eugenio Derbez, Matthew Macfadyen, Richard E. Grant, Misty Copeland, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman

In Victorian London, the Stahlbaum family is struggling. Benjamin Stahlbaum (MacFadyen) is lost without his deceased wife, and trying to hold things together for his children Louise, Fritz and Clara (Foy). Clara was closest to her mother, and spurns her father’s attempts to move on as she seeks to understand her mother’s last gift, an egg-shaped box containing ‘all she will ever need,’ with the help of her godfather Drosselmeyer (Freeman). Also, it’s Christmas.

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Aquaman (2018)

“A Tide is Coming”

Directed by James Wan
Starring Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Wilson, Dolph Lundgren, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Nicole Kidman and Temuera Morrison

A chance meeting between lighthouse keeper Thomas Curry (Morrison) and the fugitive Queen Atlanna (Kidman) leads to romance and the birth of a son, Arthur. Atlanna is tracked down and chooses to return to Atlantis and an arranged marriage, leaving Arthur to grow up into Jason Momoa, trained by Atlanna’s ally Vulko (Dafoe) and inspired by his interactions with the Justice League to become the maritime superhero the Aquaman (because DC superheroes all have definite articles these days.)

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Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald (2018)

“The fate of one will change the future of all.”

Directed by David Yates
Starring Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miller, Zoë Kravitz, Callum Turner, Claudia Kim, William Nadylam, Kevin Guthrie, Jude Law and Johnny Depp

When Gellert Grindelwald (Depp) breaks out of custody during transport to Europe, the British Auror Office sets out to hunt him down in Paris (and writing this, I suddenly can’t work out why they are the ones apparently in charge of this.) Among the hunters are Theseus Scamander (Turner) and his fiancée Leta Lestrange (Kravitz), while US Auror Tina Goldstein (Waterson) tries to track down the obscurus Credence Barebones (Miller), who in turn is looking for his identity, with the aid of the cursed circus performer Nagini (Kim). Into all this comes Newt Scamander (Redmayne), sent by Albus Dumbledore (Law) to find Credence before anyone can kill him, or Grindlewald recruit him.

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