Tag Archives: stompy robots

Alita: Battle Angel

slick-new-poster-for-alita-battle-angel1

“An Angel Falls. A Warrior Rises.”

Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring Rosa Salazar, Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly, Mahershala Ali, Ed Skrein, Jackie Earle Haley and Keean Johnson

Three hundred years after a war known as the Fall, a mysterious cyborg girl (Salazar) is discovered by Dr Dyson Ito (Waltz) in the discarded scrap from the last of the great sky cities, Zardem. He repairs her and gives her a name, Alita, but she has no memories.

Continue reading Alita: Battle Angel
Advertisements

Bumblebee (2018)

No-one remembers the tagline for The Phantom Menace, right?

“Every Hero Has a Beginning”

Directed by Travis Knight
Starring Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, Jorge Lendeborg, Jr., John Ortiz, Jason Drucker and Pamela Adlon, and the voices of Dylan O’Brien, Angela Bassett, Justin Theroux and Peter Cullen

As the Autobot rebellion flees Cybertron, Optimus Prime (Cullen) sends the scout B-127 (O’Brien) to Earth to prepare it as a haven on which the Autobots can regroup, and to protect it against the Decepticons. This immediately goes to shit, as B-127 crashes into a Sector 7 military exercise, flees from forces led by Colonel Jack Burns (Cena), only for both to be attacked by the Seeker Blitzwing. Burns’ forces are decimated and Blitzwing damages B-127’s voice box and memory before B-127 can kill him.

Continue reading Bumblebee (2018)

Kill Command (2016)

“Mercy is Only Human”

Directed by Steven Gomez
Starring Thure Lindhardt, Vanessa Kirby and David Ajala

In the not-too-distant future, a US military team led by Captain Bukes (Lindhardt) and his trusty sergeant Drifter (Ajala) is assigned to a routine training exercise on an island run by the Harbinger corporation, its purpose being to train Harbingers’ AI-controlled drone combatants, intended to replace human soldiers entirely. They are accompanied by corporate cyborg observer Mills (Kirby) on this Totally Routine Exercise(TM).

Continue reading Kill Command (2016)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

“Raise Some Shell”

Directed by Dave Green
Starring Megan Fox, Stephen Amell, Will Arnett, Laura Linney, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Brian Tee and Tyler Perry

Leonardo (Ploszek), Raphael (Ritchson), Donatello (Howard) and Michaelangelo (Fisher) are kicking their heels in the wake of the first movie, deeply regretting the deal which left cameraman Vern ‘the Falcon’ Fenwick to take sole credit for defeating Shredder (Tee). Then Shredder escapes from prison, with the aid Dr Baxter Stockman (Perry), Karai (Brittany Ishibashi) and an alien warlord named Krang (Brad Garrett), and uses a modified version of the mutagen which created the Turtles to transform hoodlums Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams) and Rocksteady (Sheamus) into a monstrous, anthropomorphic rhinoceros and warthog.

Continue reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Guardians (2017)

“Squad of Soviet Superheroes”

Directed by Sarik Anreasyan
Starring Sebastien Sisak, Sanzhar Madiyev, Anton Pampushnyy, Alina Lanina, Valeriya Shkirando, Stanislav Shirin. Vyacheslav Razbegaev

When Soviet scientist August Kuratov (Shirin) is passed over in favour of a more successful colleague, he steals that colleague’s supersoldier research and uses it on human subjects while also continuing his own project, Module-1, a sort of universal control for all machines. Decades later, he steals a set of military robots and unveils an army of clones, prompting the Russian military to task Major Elena Larina (Shrikando) with assembling the nigh-immortal subjects of his experiments under the umbrella of ‘Project Patriot’ to hunt him down.

Continue reading Guardians (2017)

Ready Player One (2018)

In the novel, the real identities of various characters are kept as a surprise. Cinema doesn’t roll that way.

“A Better Reality Awaits*”

Directed by Steven Spielberg
Starring Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, Lena Thwaite, Philip Zhao, Win Morisaki, T.J. Miller, Simon Pegg, Mark Rylance and Hannah John-Kamen

In 2045, with much of the world in the proverbial toilet, vast swathes of the population spend their lives in the OASIS, a vast, persistent virtual reality universe. On his death, the creator of the OASIS, James Halliday (Rylance), set a challenge: The person who discovered three keys and clues leading to an Easter egg in the OASIS would inherit his personal estate and complete control of the system. Some years later, the search for the Egg is contested between freelance ‘Gunters’ like Wade Watts (Sheridan), known in the OASIS as Parzival, and his friend Aech (Thwaite), and the ‘Sixers’, almost literally faceless corporate goons employed by IOI, a company keen to monetise the OASIS, which they already use as an indentured labour camp for debtors.

Continue reading Ready Player One (2018)

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

“Rise Up”

Directed by Steven S. DeKnight
Starring John Boyega, Scott Eastwood, Jing Tian, Cailee Spaeny, Rinko Kikuchi, Burn Gorman, Adria Arjona, Zhang Jin and Charlie Day

Ten years after the closing of the Breach, the Pan-Pacific Defence Corps continues to guard against the return of the extradimensional Kaiju, while scavengers like Jake ‘Son of Stacker’ Pentecost (Boyega) and Amara Namani (Spaeny) scavenge derelict jaegers for profit or, in the latter case, to build her own mini-jaeger, the totally awesome Scrapper.

Continue reading Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

“A universe without boundaries needs heroes without limits.”

Directed by Luc Besson
Starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock, Kris Wu, Rutger Hauer

A paradisiacal world of blue-skinned, pearl-fishing humanoids is destroyed by a rain of destroyed spaceships, but their princess is able to send a telepathic message which reaches Valerian (DeHaan), a happy-go-lucky agent of the United Human Federation with serious boundary issues, as seen in his relationship with his professional partner Laureline (Delevingne). He also appears to have some concentration problems, blowing an undercover op when two of the blue people show up while he is retrieving a Mul converter – an organism which replicates matter, and was native to the planet he dreamed he saw destroyed – from a black market trader.

Continue reading Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

Eyeborgs (2009)

“Nowhere to Run. Nowhere to Hide.”

Directed by Richard Clabaugh
Starring Adrian Paul, Megan Blake, Luke Eberl, Danny Trejo

Next Sunday AD, and after one too many terrorist attacks the US has passed the Freedom of Observation Act, creating a unified surveillance system linking all security cameras to the Optical Defence Intelligence Network (ODIN – because naming your computer after a god couldn’t possibly go wrong.) DHS Agent Gunner (Paul) follows up intel provided by ODIN’s mobile cameras – the titular eyeborgs – and stumbles on a plot, seemingly to assassinate the president.

Continue reading Eyeborgs (2009)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

“For one world to live, the other must die.”

Directed by Michael Bay
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Laura Haddock, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Hopkins, Santiago Cabrera and Peter Cullen

In the wayback, King Arthur and his knights triumph over the Saxon hordes when the ‘wizard’ Merlin (Stanley Tucci) brings a group of twelve Autobots to join them in the form of King Gidhora.

Yep. That just happened.

Centuries later, Optimus Prime (Cullen) is drawn back to Cybertron, where his mission to destroy his creator is interrupted as Quintessa (Gemma Chan), self-styled ‘goddess of life’, delivers the bitch-slap of obedience and tasks Prime to retrieve her staff of power, given to Merlin long ago.

Continue reading Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)