Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

“Drac’s pack is back.”

Directed by Genddy Tartakovsky
Starring Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Keegan-Michael Key, Mel Brooks

Dracula (Sandler) oversees the marriage of his daughter Mavis (Gomez) and her human boyfriend Johnny (Samberg), opening the Hotel Transylvania to non-monsters with the aid of buddies Frank (James), Wayne (Buscemi), Griffin (Spade) and Murray (Key) (Frankenstein’s monster, a werewolf, the Invisible Man and a mummy.) Not long after, Mavis announces her pregnancy, and soon the family is joined by Dennis (Asher Blinkoff).

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The Dark Tower (2017)

“There are other worlds than these.”

Directed by Nikolaj Arcel
Starring Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Claudia Kim, Fran Kranz, Abbey Lee, Jackie Earle Haley

Troubled New York teen, Jake Chambers (Taylor), dreams of a strange pyramid, where teenagers from a weird little model suburbia deal are used to power Starkiller Base and attack the colossal Dark Tower. Convinced that his dreams are true, Jake flees from representatives of a sleep clinic and finds his way to an abandoned house with an interdimensional portal in the basement. This catapults him from Keystone Earth to Mid-World, and into the conflict between Jerkass-Good last Gunslinger, Roland Deschain (Elba), and the Affable-Evil immortal devil sorcerer Walter Padick (McConaughey), aka the Man in Black.

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Must See Movies Before You Grow Up

Must See Movies Before You Grow Up is a list compiled by Into Film, a charity devoted to the use of film in children’s education. The list is as follows:

  • 101 Dalmatians (1961)
  • A Little Princess (1995)
  • Annie (1982)*
  • Babe (1995)
  • Beauty and the Beast (1991)*
  • Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)*
  • Coraline (2009)
  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)
  • Dumbo (1941)
  • ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)*
  • Fantastic Mr Fox (2009)
  • Free Willy (1993)
  • Frozen (2013)*
  • Home (2015)*
  • Hook (1991)*
  • Hotel Transylvania (2012)*
  • How to Train Your Dragon (2010)*
  • Jumanji (1995)*
  • Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)*
  • Mary Poppins (1964)*
  • Matilda (1996)*
  • Nanny McPhee (2005)*
  • Night at the Museum (2006)
  • Oliver! (1968)*
  • Paddington (2014)
  • Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015)*
  • Shrek (2001)*
  • Space Jam (1996)
  • Spirited Away (2001)
  • Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)*
  • Swallows and Amazons (2016)
  • The Adventures of Tintin (2011)*
  • The BFG (2016)
  • The Gruffalo (2009)*
  • The Iron Giant (1999)*
  • The Jungle Book (1967)*
  • The LEGO Movie (2014)*
  • The Lion King (1994)*
  • The Lorax (2012)
  • The Never-Ending Story (1984)*
  • The Princess Bride (1987)*
  • The Secret Garden (1993)
  • The Secret Life of Pets (2016)
  • The Witches (1990)*
  • Toy Story (1995)*
  • Trolls (2016)
  • Up (2009)*
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)*
  • Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971)*
  • Zootropolis (2016)*

But is this really the ultimate list of childhood movies?

Disclaimer: This is my own take on the matter and I make no pretense to some superior status of judgement. Full disclosure, those films marked with an asterisk are the ones that I have seen an which I will be discussing most closely.

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My Life in Movies

 

This is the meme: What is your favourite movie for each year of your life?

Well, it’s tough enough to narrow each year down to a selection, let alone a single movie, but I felt like I ought to give it a go. Below then, I consider this question and come up with answers, some reasons for those answers, and some also rans, for each of my forty years. To be clear, I’m not making quality judgements; this is about my historical and ongoing enjoyment of the movie, not how good it is. Therefore I am only looking at films that I’ve seen, and believe me there are some shocking gaps in that subset. Even in that limited space I’m not saying these are the best movies, but they are the ones I’ve had most fun with, for one reason or another.

star_wars_darth_vader_choke
“If this is a best of list then where is Citizen Kane?”

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Logan (2017)

“His Time Has Come”

Directed by James Mangold
Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Richard E. Grant, Boyd Holbrook, Stephen Merchant, Dafne Keen

As always, there will be spoilers in this review.

In the not-too-distant future, Logan (Jackman) is living on the (unwalled) Texas/Mexico border, working as a limo driver in order to support Charles Xavier (Stewart), who now suffers from an unspecified degenerative brain condition that causes him to suffer seizures with terrible effects on those around him. The mutant tracker Caliban (Merchant) acts as Charles’s nurse and struggles to be a conscience to Logan in a world where most mutants have been exterminated. This arrangement is upset when a nurse named Gabriela (Elizabeth Rodriguez) finds Logan and asks him to transport her and a young girl, Laura (Keen) to Dakota.

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iBoy (2017)

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“A Netflix Original”

Directed by Adam Randall
Starring Bill Milner, Maisie Williams, Jordan Bolger, Charley Palmer Rothwell, Aymen Hamdouchi, Miranda Richardson, Rory Kinnear

Tom (Milner) is an ordinary kid, growing up on a high-rise estate under the care of his Gran (Richardson) and never quite finding the nerve to confess his feelings to lifelong friend Lucy (Williams). He’s an okay student, and keeps out of the gang business that has already sucked in classmates such as school bully Eugene (Rothwell) and Tom’s best mate Danny (Bolger). Then one night he goes to help Lucy with her revision and stumbles on a gang punishment assault. He runs and tries to call the police, but is shot, the bullet shattering his phone and imbedding pieces of it in his brain.

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Moana (2016)

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I guess that pig really sells in some market, because he’s way over-represented in the publicity for a character who never leaves the island.

“The Ocean is Calling”

Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker
Starring Auli’i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson, Rachel House, Temuera Morrison, Jemaine Clement, Nicole Scherzinger and Alan Tudyk

Moana (Cravalho) is the heir apparent to her father, Chief Tui of Motonui (Morrison). Her people live a life contained on their island, which provides all that they need… until the fish leave the sea around the island and the crops and coconuts begin to die. Always adventurous, Moana suggests fishing in the more dangerous waters beyond the reef, and then follows her grandmother’s (House) stories to take a boat from the long-forgotten voyaging past of the tribe, and seek for the demigod Maui (Johnson).

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Alone in the Dark (2005)

alone_in_the_dark_2005

“Evil Awakens”

Directed by Uwe Boll (dive! dive!)
Starring Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff and Tara Reid

Amnesiac PI and occult investigator Edward Carnby (Slater) discovers a relic of the Abkani civilisation. Some dude in shades tries to nick it, but after a running gun battle in the heart of Somewheresburg, he deciphers the text on the artefact and discovers… something something awakening.

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Fearless Tiger (1991)

Must he really?
Must he really?

“A betrayal that couldn’t be forgiven.”

Directed by Ron Hulme
Starring  Jalal Merhi, Bolo Yeung, Monika Schnarre, Jamie Farr, Lazar Rockwood

Lyle (Merhi), a nice Lebanese-Canadian thirty-year-old grad student, falls into depression when his brother is murdered by drug dealers (or dies of an overdose; I wasn’t clear.) He drops his job at the family firm and postpones his wedding, angering his father (Farr) and fiancee (Schnarre), and goes to Hong Kong to study martial arts and earn the red sash of a master of arty martialness.

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