Tag Archives: costume porn

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

Sparkle!
Sparkle!

“Too much of a good thing… is wonderful.”

Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Starring Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Dan Aykroyd, Scott Bakula, Rob Lowe, Debbie Reynolds

Animal trainer Scott Thorson (Damon) is introduced to the pianist and entertainer Liberace (Douglas) by film producer Bob Black (Bakula), who explains that, obvious as it is to the gay community, straight audiences have no idea that Liberace is gay.

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Tale of Tales (2015)

tale-of-tales-poster-120x160-bd

“A feast for the imagination”

Directed by Matteo Garrone
Starring Salma Hayek, Vincent Cassel, Toby Jones and John C. Reilly

Once upon a time, there was a Queen (Hayek) who could not bear a child. At the advice of a necromancer, the Queen’s husband (Reilly) slays a sea monster. The King is also killed, but the Queen eats the heart of the monster and is instantly pregnant. She and the virgin kitchen maid who cooks the heart give birth to identical boys even before the King’s funeral, attended by two other monarchs: a King (Cassel) whose appetites know no restraint, and another King (Jones) with a beloved daughter.

"There. Sure glad I don't look stupid in this."
“There. Sure glad I don’t look stupid in this.”

Continue reading Tale of Tales (2015)

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter (1974)

This may be the most awesomely bad poster ever.
This may be the most awesomely bad poster ever.

“The only man alive feared by the walking dead!”
This is blatant false advertising; they’ve clearly never heard of him.

Directed by Brian Clemens
Starring Horst Janson, Caroline Munro, John Cater and Wanda Ventham

A small village in Transylwherever is plagued by a rash of early onset old age, so local physician Doctor Marcus (John Carson) calls on the aid of his old army buddy, the often shirtless Captain Kronos (Janson). Kronos and his friend, the hunchbacked Professor Hieronymus Grost (Cater), arrive with all speed – stopping only to rescue a girl named Carla (Munro) sentenced to the stocks for dancing on a Sunday – and begin an investigation with toads, bells and herbal cigarettes, for they are vampire hunters. Professional vampire hunters.

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Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Badass.
Badass.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

Directed by Burr Steers
Starring Lily James, Sam Riley and Jack Huston

In a Regency era Britain beset by hordes of the undead, Elizabeth Bennett (James) and her sisters have been trained in the martial arts to repel the zombie horde from their family estate. When the wealthy Mr Bingley (Douglas Booth) buys nearby Netherfield Hall – recently vacated after an outbreak of zombism at a wist party – Mrs Bennett (Sally Phillips) sees a chance to begin marrying her daughters out of what she sees as an undesirable warrior lifestyle. Jane (Bella Heathcoat) soon falls in with Mr Bingley, but Lizzie falls into an altogether more confrontational relationship with Bingley’s friend, professional zombie killer, Colonel Darcy (Riley).

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Underworld: Evolution (2006)

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“My God. Brother, what have you done?”

Directed by Len Wiseman
Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Derek Jacobi and Tony Curran

After the events of Underworld, Selene (Beckinsale) and Michael (Speedman) go into hiding in the wilds of Caucasistan*, hunted not by the now-defunct vampire establishment but by the last elder, Markus Corvinus (Curran), first vampire, winged hybrid, and wearer of some seriously samurai loon pants.

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Jupiter Ascending (2015)

There's a shot of her going up a gravity lift which would have been a perfect trailer shot; this one is more 'Jupiter Strutting'.
There’s a scene of her going up a gravity lift in the film which would have been a perfect poster shot; this one is more ‘Jupiter Strutting’.

“Expand Your Universe”

Directed by the Wachowskis
Starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne

Anglo-Russian immigrant Jupiter Jones (Kunis) works with her mother and aunt as underpaid cleaners, until alien bounty hunters come looking for Jupiter and she is whisked off on an interstellar adventure with demi-wolf tracker Caine Wise (Tatum).

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John Carter (2012)

Not 'John Carter of Mars'.  Who cares about Mars? People are going to come to this film for John Carter.
Not ‘John Carter of Mars’. Who cares about Mars? People are going to come to this film for John Carter.

“Lost in this world, found in another”

Directed by Andrew Stanton
Starring Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy and Willem Dafoe

In the aftermath of the Civil War, Confederate Captain John Carter (Kitsch) has devoted his life to misanthropy and the quest for mythical treasure. A pushy cavalry recruiter and a chance encounter lead him to Barsoom, the dying planet Mars, where he discovers strange powers and perhaps a new direction in life.

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The Wolfman (2010)

Now I understand... and it's time to leave the woods.
Now I understand… and it’s time to leave the woods.

“The Legend is Alive”

Directed by Joe Johnston
Starring Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt and Hugo Weaving

Actor Lawrence Talbot (del Toro) is summoned to his family home by his brother Ben’s fiancee, Gwen (Blunt) with news of Ben’s death. Ben was killed by some beast in the woods near Talbot House, and Lawrence determines to track and destroy it. His father (Hopkins) seems oddly sanguine about the whole business, while Inspector Aberline (Weaving) of Scotland Yard has his eye on Lawrence.

Continue reading The Wolfman (2010)