[Remember to include the release date; Poster or video cover – if available]
Starring [first billed anyway; ‘star’ may well be too strong a term]
A brief synopsis of the film, followed by the breakdown:
What’s wrong with it?
[Why is it bad?]
What’s right with it?
[Is there any reason to show mercy?]
How bad is it really?
[On a visceral level?]
Best bit (if such there is)?
[What stands out in the memory?]
What’s up with…?
[each out of 20]
Production values [is it at least well made – 0; someone seemingly put it together in their sleep – 20]
Dialogue and performances [clear and well performed – 0; mangled and mumbled – 20]
Plot and execution [powerful and internally consistent – 0; at best an excuse for the fights and the shagging – 20]
Randomness [makes perfect sense – 0; they shot who in the what now? – 20]
Waste of potential [as good as you could hope for given what it is – 0; an unforgiveable let-down – 20]