Tag Archives: witches

The Last Witch Hunter (2015)

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Immortal. Witch Hunter. Hip Hop Hero.

“Live Forever. Hunt Forever.”

Directed by Breck Eisner
Starring Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood and Michael Caine

In ye olden days, a collection of fascinating beards with burly men behind them travel to a funky-looking tree and descend into its foul root system to battle the Witch Queen and end the Black Death (so I guess we’re in the mid-14th Century.) Kaulder (Diesel), a widower with nothing to live for, strikes the Queen down, but she curses him with life, to be unable to find peace in death.

Groot had really been letting himself go.
Groot had really been letting himself go.

Continue reading The Last Witch Hunter (2015)

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Seventh Son (2015)

Now with 100% more dragons, and not in a good way.
Now with 100% more dragons, and not in a good way.

“In the face of evil, claim your destiny”

Directed by Sergei Bodrov
Starring Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore and Alicja Vikander

Master Gregory (Bridges), the last survivor of the knightly order known as the Falcons (or colloquially as the Spooks,) seeks out seventh son of a seventh son Tom Ward (Barnes) to be his apprentice. They have a week until the blood moon gives witch queen Mother Malkin (Moore) the power to cover all the lands in a second darkness, or some such thing.

Continue reading Seventh Son (2015)

Beautiful Creatures (2013)

Alice Englert is a pretty young woman with a wonderfully wry turn of expression; why every poster for the film picked a selfie duckface shot, I do not know.
Alice Englert is a pretty young woman with a wonderfully wry turn of expression; why every poster for the film picked a selfie duckface shot, I do not know.

“Dark Secrets Will Come to Light”

Directed by Richard LaGravenese
Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, Thomas Mann, and Emma Thompson

Ethan (Ehrenreich) is that small town boy, too cerebral to feel comfortable with the popular crowd, but too popular to be a proper nerd, and yearning to break out of Gatlin, South Carolina (not to be confused with Gatlin, Nebraska, where they have their own troubles).  When he meets new girl Lena Duchannes (Englert), he realises that she is the girl he has been dreaming about for months, and he is slowly drawn into the world of her family, who are ‘Casters’, magicians who follow either the Light – becoming minor league American character actors – or the Dark – causing them to evolve into A-list British thespians with dodgy accents (Irons and Thompson); I can only assume that Emmy Rossum’s Ridley will morph into Lena Headey on her thirtieth.

On her sixteenth birthday, Lena will be claimed for the Dark or the Light, and there is a curse to be reckoned with that says Dark is the way. Ethan might be her salvation, but Casters aren’t supposed to love mortals, and the price may be more than Lena is willing to pay. Continue reading Beautiful Creatures (2013)