Immortal (2004)

Pyramid power!
Pyramid power!

“The Ancient Gods Have Returned”

Directed by Enik Bilal
Starring Linda Hardy, Thomas Kretschmann, Charlotte Rampling, Frédéric Pierrot

New York, 2095. Central Park is an inapproachable ‘intrusion zone’ and a giant pyramid hovers over the futuristic skyline. Genetically altered humans live side by side with the unaltered, but as second class citizens, while political power resides with the CGI elite. When the Egyptian god Horus (Thomas M. Pollard) is sent to spend one last week on Earth before being executed for a crime that is never really specified, he inhabits the body of altered rights activist Nikopol (Kretschmann) – after blowing up several less acceptable bodies – and goes in search of Jill (Hardy) a white-skinned, blue-haired woman who is capable of bearing him a child.

Continue reading Immortal (2004)

xXx: State of the Union (2005)

xxx-sotu

“Get ready for the next level”

Directed by Lee Tamahori
Starring Ice Cube, Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Peter Strauss, Samuel L. Jackson

A commando team bust into the secret HQ of the xXx programme, killing everyone except station chief Agent Gibbons (Jackson) and technical comic relief Shavers (Michael Roof). Informed of the incident, the president (Peter Strauss) is determined that his State of the Union address must tackle the causes of such attacks by building up international relations, much to the chagrin of hawkish Secretary and obvious villain Deckert (Dafoe).

Continue reading xXx: State of the Union (2005)

American Ninja (1985)

American. Ninja. Any questions?
American. Ninja. Any questions?

“The deadliest art of the Orient is now in the hands of an American.”

Directed by Sam Firstenberg
Starring Michael Dudikoff, Steve James and Judie Aronson

In the Philippines, surly amnesiac former delinquent loner Joe (Dudikoff) is serving as a private in the US Army. He leads an attempt to fight off hijackers attempting to steal army gear and kidnap the Colonel’s daughter, Patricia (Aronson), but when ninjas appear and massacre the rest of the convoy, the Sergeant blames Joe.

Continue reading American Ninja (1985)

Lucy (2014)

Based on my limited understanding of neuroscience, what she could do is 'have a massive stroke', that being the definition of all of your brain firing at once.
Based on my limited understanding of neuroscience, what she could do is ‘have a massive stroke’, that being the definition of all of your brain firing at once.

“The average person uses 10% of their brain capacity. Imagine what she could do with 100%.”

Directed by Luc Besson
Starring Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Choi Min-sik, Amr Waked

Lucy (Johansson), an American student in Taipei, falls foul of her loser boyfriend’s murderous contacts in the Korean mob and finds herself forced to act as a drug mule by Mr Jang (Min-sik). A packet of experimental nootropic drugs is sewn into her abdomen and ruptured when a particularly stupid mob soldier decides that hitting on the mule and then kicking her repeatedly in the stomach is a good plan. Seriously, for an all-powerful drug lord, Jang needs better help.

Continue reading Lucy (2014)

Blast from the Past: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

adventures-of-buckaroo

“Expect the unexpected. He does.”

Directed by W.D. Richter
Starring Peter Weller, Ellen Barkin, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Lloyd and Clancy Brown

During a test of his experimental supersonic jet car, Japanese-American neurosurgeon, particle physicist, martial artist and musician Buckaroo Banzai (Weller) activates the oscillation overthruster, a device which allows him to pass into the solid matter of a mountain, thus entering the 8th Dimension. On hearing of this, Lord John Whorfin, and alien in the body of Dr Emilio Lizardo (Lithgow) breaks out of an asylum to reunite with his lieutenants, the Red Lectroids.

Continue reading Blast from the Past: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

Black Swan (2010)

black-swan_poster

Directed by Darren Aronofsky
Starring Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder

Amid the fierce competition to secure the prized dual role of the Swan Queen and her double the Black Swan, soloist Nina Sayers (Portman) clashes with demanding auteur director Thomas (Cassel) and ambitious rising star Lily (Kunis), as well as her demanding and overprotective mother (Hershey) and unstable former principal Beth (Ryder).

Continue reading Black Swan (2010)

Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)

kubo-and-the-two-strings
“If you must blink, do so now…”

“Be bold. Be brave. Be epic.”

Directed by Travis Knight
Starring Charlize Theron, Art Parkinson, Ralph Fiennes, Rooney Mara, George Takei, Matthew McConaughey and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

Kubo (Parkinson) lives with his mother in a cliff overlooking the sea, using his mystical power over paper to tell stories without endings to the local villagers (including Takei and Tagawa) for an income to support himself and his ailing mother. When his desire for some contact with his late father leads him to stay out late, he draws the attention of his maternal grandfather, the vengeful Moon King (Fiennes), who sends his twin daughters (Mara) to capture Kubo.

Continue reading Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)

Yellow Submarine (1968)

Buckle up, kids. It's going to be a weird one.
Buckle up, kids. It’s going to be a weird one.

“It’s all in the mind, y’know”

Directed by George Dunning
Starring Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Paul Angelis, John Clive, Dick Emery, Geoff Hughes, Lance Percival

When the psychadelic paradise of Pepperland is attacked by the Blue Meanies, the Lord Mayor (Emery) sends Young Fred (Percival) to recruit help. Travelling to Liverpool in a submersible vehicle of jaundiced hue, he gathers the four Beatles: John (Clive), Paul (Hughes), George (Peter Batten, uncredited) and Ringo (Angelis, whose brother would later take over from Ringo Starr as narrator of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends); not necessarily in that order.

Continue reading Yellow Submarine (1968)

Tale of Tales (2015)

tale-of-tales-poster-120x160-bd

“A feast for the imagination”

Directed by Matteo Garrone
Starring Salma Hayek, Vincent Cassel, Toby Jones and John C. Reilly

Once upon a time, there was a Queen (Hayek) who could not bear a child. At the advice of a necromancer, the Queen’s husband (Reilly) slays a sea monster. The King is also killed, but the Queen eats the heart of the monster and is instantly pregnant. She and the virgin kitchen maid who cooks the heart give birth to identical boys even before the King’s funeral, attended by two other monarchs: a King (Cassel) whose appetites know no restraint, and another King (Jones) with a beloved daughter.

"There. Sure glad I don't look stupid in this."
“There. Sure glad I don’t look stupid in this.”

Continue reading Tale of Tales (2015)

Outcast (2014)

"Crusades!"
“Crusades!”

“Legends are Born in Battle”

Directed by Nick Powell
Starring Hayden Christensen, Nicolas Cage, Liu Yifei, Ji Ke Jun Yi, Andy On

During the Crusades – doesn’t really matter which ones – Jacob (Christensen) and his mentor/retainer Gallian (Cage) kill some Saracens; probably, in the final analysis, way too many. Gallian is already thinking of getting out, and three years after a particularly bloody siege we find Jacob following Gallian’s dream to head east, because there’s something that you probably didn’t pick up on from that poster.

Continue reading Outcast (2014)

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Australia based film fans - Like Margaret and David, only so much younger

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