Pegasus vs. Chimera (2012)

EPIC!
EPIC!

Directed by John Bradshaw
Starring Sebastian Roche, Nazeen Contractor and Rae Dawn Chong

The would-be Emperor Orthos (Carol Rota) has his court warlock summon the Chimera to be his instrument of destruction. Blacksmith Belleros (Roche) and Princess Philony (Contractor, which I want to believe is an occupation name denoting a long line of senior site managers), seek the aid of the witch Mayda (Chong.) Mayda summons the Pegasus from the heavens to aid them.

With the aid of the Pegasus, his magic healing powers and occasional wings, our heroes… get captured, and Orthos tries to gain immortality by going all Voldemort on Pegasus. At last, however, they face their fathers’ killers and the monster that serves them.

What’s wrong with it?

Orthos is the would-be Emperor of the known world, setting out to exterminate an enemy kingdom with his legion of nine shirtless soldiers and an untrustworthy warlock, from his command post in a deconsecrated church and execution plaza in a clearing with a big stump.

Oh yeah, we’re on a budget here.

Belleros – as in Minotaur we apparently don’t want to use the actual mythological names in case, I don’t know, it’s too confusing – and his dad go hunting and catch something that looks like it escaped from Walking with Dinosaurs, which sets the standard for the CGI.

Gave into the face of terror!
Gaze into the face of terror!

In the way of Greek myth, every warrior has but one weak spot; usually six inches behind or to the side of the body to judge by where people are thrusting.

Pegasus only has wings in long shots. In close up, he’s just a horse; shots of the riders stop at the waist. In long shots he also has full barding, presumably due to a mixed concept.

The acting is a mixed bag. Nothing terrible, but nothing great. Roche is stagey as hell, and Rota… Honestly, I think Rota is seeing how far he can push the director by mucking around with which words in a sentence he stresses before Bradshaw notices.

Rae Dawn Chong is clearly phoning this one in, and that’s a pretty parlous state of affairs for a movie to find itself in.

What’s right with it?

Everyone involved is at least game (with the possible exception of Chong, who might just be making the mortgage.) You can go a long way on willingness with these things.

How bad is it really?

It’s a SyFy distributed mockbuster from the Director of literally nothing you have ever heard of, in which ropey CGI rubs shoulders with stage acting and stage fighting.

It really sucks, and it’s hilarious.

Best bit (if such there is)?

Orthos explains to the Queen that he is going to live for ever and – dare he say it? – rule the world. He does so stressing all the wrong words, more or less at random.

What’s up with…?

  • The barding that appears when Pegasus is in flight?
  • The Argosian uniforms? They consist of a skirt and a cloak made from torn curtains; no shirt, not even a muscle breastplate.

Ratings

Production values – Oh my stars, this one is a stinker, with its best effects apparently ripped from a fifteen year old TV series about dinosaurs. 17
Dialogue and performances – The dialogue is dull and the delivery theatrical, rather than either being especially bad. 9
Plot and execution – The story is simple, but there are plenty of unnecessary reversals, such as when our heroes fly off without stopping to learn about all of the Pegasus’s powers, then fly back to find out what they missed only to find everyone has been eaten by the chimera in the meantime. 16
Randomness – Aside from Pegasus’ disappearing wings… pretty solid. 6
Waste of potential – You see up there where it says ‘Syfy Original’? This clears that very low bar with room to spare. 3

Overall 51%

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